We were in the living room when it happened.
“You know, [name omitted to protect the innocent] is just like you were when you were a kid—he’s completely bilingual! His English and Spanish are both really good.”
We were visiting my aunt and one of my family members made this offhand comment. It came on the heels of watching my toddler struggle to communicate in English. She had gotten her point across (mostly), but it was the first time I wondered, are we doing the right thing?? Focusing on Spanish and trusting that she’ll pick up English through school, friends, relatives and, well, basically everywhere (except at home)?
This is a family member who I love, respect, and admire, so her opinion holds weight with me. And the truth is that for me, this is a big experiment. I was raised speaking both languages equally since birth. My family’s situation in Mexico is different than the reality we live here in the States, which is why we decided to do things differently with our kids.
I have faith that their English will catch up and probably eventually be their dominant language—that was my husband’s experience after his family moved here from Ecuador.
But still, it breaks my heart a tiny bit to see my daughter try to communicate with little strangers on the playground and be met with a blank stare (although, they are toddlers so… that could happen even if she was speaking perfect English I guess).
Raising a bilingual kid can feel lonely at times, even though I know that families all around the world are doing the same thing every day. It’s these little slivers of doubt that, if left unchecked, can start to erode your commitment and make you wonder if it’s even worth it.
It was the first time I felt unsure whether we’re making the right choice about our kids’ language journeys, but I’m certain it won’t be the last. In the end, I think it comes down to trusting your instincts and finding support. Luckily, there’s a great big Internet full of people, resources and services to help those of us raising bilingual bebés.
But I still want to know—has something similar ever happened to you? How did you react? We’re really all in this together, you know.
I can relate. I never got comments like that when my daughter was a toddler other than one person asking me if I feared she would be “confused” because I spoke to her in Spanish. My husband only speaks English so my situation is different because she is exposed to English at home. However, I would venture to say her English will grow exponentially as she grows and once she begins school. Now, I sometimes have to tell my daughter to please speak in Spanish because she comes home from school (a Spanish immersion school no less) with her English switch on. Hang in there. It’s worth it!
I meant to write your daughter’s English will grow exponentially as she grows and once she begins school.
In my case I’m afraid that they will forget Spanish because socially they are surrounded by English speakers. I only spoke to my daughters in Spanish from birth and my family thought it was strange because only the first generation aunts and uncles speak Spanish as their main language. There was a strange transition as you shared, but then Spanish stopped being spoken by them. Now I do what my parents did, which is to speak Spanish to them no matter what they speak. Then as they find the motivation through grandparent visits or Spanish books and music, we try to take advantage of these opportunities to use their Spanish.